内心的洞
我装作老成,人人就传言我老成。我假装是个懒汉,人人就谣传我是懒惰虫。我假装不会写小说,人们就说我不会写。我伪装成骗子,人们就说我是个骗子。我充阔,人人以为我是阔佬。我故作冷淡,人人就说我是个无情的家伙。然而,当我真的痛苦万分,不由得呻吟时,人人却在认为我无病呻吟。——太宰治
曲名:Not Dark Yet
歌手:Barb Jungr
所属专辑:TAS: The Absolute Sound 2010
发行年代:2011
风格:翻唱
介绍:Barb Jungr 翻唱 Bob Dylan的作品《Not Dark Yet》,完全是两种不同的风格。
展开歌词
Shadows are fallin' and I've been here all day
夜幕降了下来 一整天我都在这里
It's too hot to sleep and time is runnin' away
天气酷热难眠 时间随着流逝
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
感觉心已变成钢铁
I've still got the scars that the sun didn't heal
太阳所给创伤仍未治愈
There's not even room enough to be anywhere
无力去往别处
It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there.
天色未暗 夜已不远
Well, my sense of humanity has gone down the drain
我所有的仁慈 都已冲进了下水道
Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain
每件美丽的事 背后总有一些伤痛
She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind
她写了一封信给我 写得如此的友善
She put down in writin' what was in her mind
她写下心中所想
I just don't see why I should even care
我只是不明白 这与我还有什么关系
It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there.
天色未暗 夜已不远
Well, I've been to London and I been to gay Paris
我去过伦敦 夜去过巴黎
I've followed the river and I got to the sea
我跟随着河流 一路到达海洋
I've been down on the bottom of the world full of lies
沉入过谎言漩涡的底部
I ain't lookin' for nothin' in anyone's eyes
不再从谁眼中寻找些什么
Sometimes my burden is more than I can bear
有时重担似乎超出我所能承受的
It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there.
天色未暗 夜已不远
was born here and I'll die here against my willI
我在这里出生也将在这里死去 虽然这非我所愿
看似到处奔波 但我明白 从未移动一步
I know it looks like I'm movin' but I'm standin' still
看似到处奔波 但我明白 从未移动一步
Every nerve in my body is so naked and numb
身体的每一条神经都是如此裸露麻木
I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from
我已记不起是什么让我来到这里又逃走
Don't even hear the murmur of a prayer
更听不见一声祈祷
It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there.
天色未暗 夜已不远
内心的洞
文/西娃
我内心有个洞
起初它很小
小到我觉察不到
但,它在
它越变越大
大的让我感觉到
它在
但我看不见它的具体位置
直到这个下午
我感到它
看到它
我用音乐,电影,诗歌
甚至绝望和无聊
一起去填补它
它是这么深,这么大
我加了一个下午
再加一个下午的哭声
都没填饱它
我不知道它
需要什么
作者简介
西娃,诗人、小说集、佛教徒和玄学爱好者,她1972年生于西藏,六岁时随父母迁居四川江油,现居北京。曾出版长篇小说《过了天堂是上海》等。2007年开始大量创作诗歌,尝试让不同生命层次的读者在同一首诗歌里有所得,并把自己的玄学经验融入诗歌创作。2010年被《中国诗歌》评为“十大网络诗人”,2013年诗作《外公》、《或许,情诗》入选台湾大学国文教材。这首《内心的洞》选自西娃创作诗歌近二十年来的第一部诗集。